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Friday, November 30, 2012

Dave Franco Go Fuck Yourself

How the Moon Evolved


I've loved astronomy for as long as I can remember. Still can't get enough of videos like this!

How I Almost Quit With Just 500 Words to Go

I did it.
But I almost didn't do it.
And I only had 500 words to go.

Why would I fold with that few words left?
Let's just say that I had a bit of a nervous breakdown on the home stretch.

My novel did not start out smoothly. I really had no idea what I wanted to write about.
I decided to write about the lunar aspect of H.P. Lovecraft's dreamlands after being cued by Bon Scott to think about the title to one of my favorite AC/DC songs, "What's Next To the Moon."
Really, I did. I don't care if you believe me or not. I'm telling the tale as it happened. If you choose to believe that this is merely my own perception or delusion, fine. I refuse to debate it. I can't prove that it happened. Conversely, no-one else can prove that it didn't.
Let's move on.

The story seemed very "piecey" at first. It seemed more like a bunch of short stories than a cohesive novel. It didn't start to gel until about halfway through the month. 
It also started to get really personal towards the end. Particularly on the last day. There was a convergence of sorts, and it opened some old wounds.

I had been turned on to the series "The Vampire Diaries" by my writing sister Tempest LeTrope and Mister Sister Adam Everhard. It becomes obvious that uncontrolled vampirism (the "Ripper" mode) is a metaphor for drug abuse. There are parts of the third season that are really hard to watch. Not because of the violence or "horror" aspect, but because certain of the character Stefan's behaviors reminded me of what I went through with my husband.

In the last segment that I watched, Elena (Stefan's girlfriend) says to Damon (Stefan's brother) that they may have to let Stefan go.
That is what I had to do with my husband. 
It isn't just the aspect of watching someone you love destroy themselves. Not every addict is abusive, but with the inhibitions blurred by consciousness-altering substances, anyone has greater potential to become abusive, either verbally or physically.
My husband mostly became verbally abusive. 
In the seven years that we were married, he got physical with me a total of nine times. He never beat me, and I was never particularly afraid of him. His physical abuses tended to take the form of slaps or pushing.
The verbal abuse was another story.
When my husband was doing heroin (he did cocaine as well, but less often) he became a different person. He thought that he was invincible and thought that he had been blessed with special gifts. He was a talented artist, but his real motivation was his next high.
When I met him way back in junior high, he was one of the cool kids. I wasn't terribly popular, but I garnered at least fake acceptance from the "cool" crowd when he brought me into the circle. He was a good-looking guy with dark hair and dark eyes. He always had a mischievous smile. I thought he was cute, but I was already crushing on someone else.
Our friendship turned to romance in our sophomore year in high school. Everyone thought we'd be the couple to beat the odds.
At that point, he was only smoking pot and drinking at weekend parties. So was everyone else, me included. I didn't see any kind of problem.

He joined the Army right after high school. It was the mid 1980's, a peacetime setting, so I wasn't worried. He wanted to learn a skill, to get some money together for college. It made perfect sense. He did his four years and came home, and we got married. 

At first, everything was great. A little over a year after we married, I was pregnant with our daughter. There started to be signs of trouble. He stayed late after work a lot and came home smashed. Initially I suspected that he might be cheating. I guess I could say that he was, but not with a woman at this point. The women would come later.

When I found out about the heroin, I demanded that he give it up. He did for a time, after our daughter was born. She was eight months old when I got pregnant with our son. Once again he started shooting up. He claimed he was only smoking pot, but I knew better. There was yelling, throwing of dishes, lots of crying on my part. He started calling me names, telling me that I was holding him down, being the "bitchy wife."

We had been married three and a half years and had two kids when he started fooling around with other women.
I tried to hold things together, tried to believe that he could kick the drugs, tried to believe that if I just loved him enough, I'd be able to bring him back from the edge.
In the end, I made the decision to walk away.
I told him that he couldn't see the kids until he got clean and stayed clean. He got mad and called me an evil, fat bitch. He said he didn't know how he could ever have been so desperate as to have sex with me. He said it to hurt me, but it did cause me to lapse into bulimic behavior, which I struggled with on and off for the next six years.
He would stay clean for periods of time but always eventually relapse into his old habits. I never let him have the kids overnight. When he was clean, I trusted him to take them to or pick them up from school.
I dated for a little while after my marriage ended, but always managed to pick guys that were far from ideal to bring around my kids. One turned out to be scary enough that I almost considered getting a restraining order. Luckily, he moved out of state.
I stopped dating fifteen years ago and see no reason to resume, even though my kids are adults now. I hate it when people tell me "not to give up" because the "right guy" could be around the next corner.
He's not.

So, to wrap things up...
The little experiment that started as a frustrating hodge-podge turned into a massive emotional bleed-out at the end, and I almost cashed in my chips.

I've decided that I'm actually going to try and organize the story into something cohesive. It does have potential.

I listened to a lot of HIM while I was writing the story. I also listened to AC/DC, of course. I listened to Morcheeba, and Korn, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Loreena McKennitt, Enigma...

I want to share the HIM album Love Metal. Because yes, I do. It's gotten me through a lot of really tough times.
Thanks for letting me Bogart the Blog, Sisters and Misters. We will return you to your regularly scheduled insanity tomorrow!

Love,
Sister Helena

(Cross-posted to Undead in the Netherworld)


Thursday, November 29, 2012

The History of the Human Races


Seeing any one skin color as superior to any other is folly. There is one race: the human race. Skin color variations developed as a means of survival in various environments. It is long past time to lay aside notions of a "superior race," for there is no such thing.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Earthrise Episode I: Meat Protein Crisis


I think I'm going vegetarian!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Stop Evry Thing! Heere's PANSI!!!!!

All rite evry buddy, lissen up!!!! The Cheese Mistress went and maid annother new blog that is suposed to take the plase of the other blog's. Well, she thot she was bein sneeky and keeping it from me. BRITTNEY and EMRALD new about it all allong. I don't no if DOO DOO GIRL new about it becuz she is all ways stone'd out of her hed.

Well I found out about this new blog and I through a tempar tantrum untill the CHEESE MISTRESS agread to let me half axcess to it. So now you can find me on my mane blog, on my Possterus blog, or on the new blog!!!! This is grate for you becuz now there is moar of me!!!!!

PANSI!!!!!

Dr. Doo Doo and PANSI Give a Lesson About Thyroids

Even Dr. Schitz wants to strangule the CHEESE MISTRESS!!!!

Hear is a webb site that Dr. Schitz reckamend's. It is all about Thy Royd's. The Cheese Mistress could not find her Thy Royd meddasine this morning so she was all in a pannick.

I don't no why he does not just take my addvise. May be if the CHEESE MISTRESS had her fat thy royd remmoved, she wood not have such a fat butt. I am ASSumming that the Thy Royd is in the butt becuz the CHEESE MISTRESS shure has a fat one!!!!

Enny way, how much can you trust the advize of Dr. Schitz??? He was marryed to a Suck You Buss Demon for, like, six years. And now he is ingajed to marry a Parra Medick from the Horrible Dislopian Future. I don't no if she is a demon or not, but if she like's Dr. Schitz, she must be a Blast Femous Heething.

Hear is a link to moar scandall about Dr. Schitz and Nurse Violent and their divorse and new romanse's.

PANSI!!!!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

What Makes A Good Man

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Civil Rights Roundtable 1963


An interesting discussion from prominent social figures of the time regarding civil rights issues.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Brief Review: The Vampire Diaries

I have been watching The Vampire Diaries on Netflix. Tsathoggua and I give it two thumbs up. While the target audience is teenage girls, the show is far more Buffy the Vampire Slayer than Twilight.

My son adds the caveat that Buffy the Vampire Slayer contained far more vampire fighting than vampire fucking. Angel did not come along till later in the Buffy series. While there is some vampire slaying in The Vampire Diaries, the focus of the show is the romance between Elena and Stefan and the rivalry between Stefan and Damon.

Although the question does arise of how the holy hell a 162 year old being could abide being around high school kids, even if Elena is quite emotionally mature, the romance between Elena and Stefan comes off as far less creepy and psychologially abusive than the romance between Bella and Edward. Elena is also a better role model for teenage girls than is Bella. While she experiences depression following her breakup with Stefan, she does not become non-functional.

Overall, the series is well constructed without too many cringe-worthy lines. However, I find the need to beg the question of why the "good guy" vampires in modern times don't satiate their need for human blood from blood banks rather than relying on animal blood. As well, since it isn't necessary to kill a victim to feed...ah well, I'm not going to dwell on it.

If vampire fiction is your thing, give this show a go. It is a lot of fun.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

Banned from the Bible I and the Lost Gospels: Full Playlist

The Lost Books of the Bible: Part II

The Lost Books of the Bible: Part I

The Lost Books of the Bible: My Story

 

Hello friends. As a young girl, I was raised Catholic, and I was actually quite devout, although I was rather unconventional in my beliefs. This led me to be ostracized by some of the members of the church. In turn, this led me to question the organization to which I had so long been faithful, although not without question.

I eventually left the church and started studying the older religions. At this point I would call myself a Pagan, although I do take wisdom from other sources as well. I still study other tomes, including the Bible. However, the King James bible has had many chapters removed from it. This book that so many take literally has been abriged, primarily for political reasons.

I have a bible which contains the Lost Books. It makes for very fascinating reading. It is one of my favorite books. 

I wish to share the videos from the History Channel, which talk of the Lost Books of the Bible. I hope you will enjoy them too.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Loreena McKennitt Playlist

The finest Mellow and Mystical Music from Loreena McKennitt is in this playlist.

The Highwayman

African Spurred Tortoise

This is a post all about the wonder that is the African Spurred Tortoise.

 


Bow Chicka Bow Bow

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Trans Siberian Orchestra Playlist

A beautiful playlist from the amazing Trans Siberian Orchestra.

The Ugly Truth about Puppy Mills


Adopt, don't shop.

Howard Stern Helps Expose Cat/Dog Meat Trade in Korea


WARNING: GRAPHIC!

Monday, November 12, 2012

The Evil That Men Do

 

Yes they do, the dirty so and so's. And Iron Maiden is here to tell you all about it, as only they can!

If that's not enough Maiden for you (and how could it be?) then allow me to direct you to Sister Tempest's link to a Maiden playlist on You Tube. Thank you, Tempy!

Ermahgerd, the horrible sight of Ke$ha when I go to the video--it's atrocious! I don't want to be a bitch or anything, but damn, that eyeshadow and that lipstick totally make her look like a coked out zombie.

 

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Thorns and Self Injury

 

Thorns is a very cool song written by the band Demon Hunter about the topic of self injury. It might bring some comfort to someone who is suffering.

I have a history of self mutilation. It is a very complex issue. It can be correlated with conditions such as borderline personality disorder and bipolar disorder (both of which I have) or with abuse. My parents were not physically abusive (there was sometimes inadvertent psychological abuse, because they were very perfectionistic.) I was bullied mercilessly in school. That was the trigger, in my case.

I don't believe in everlasting damnation, as it happens. It  it makes no sense to me that a divine creator would condemn its creations for not believing in it. I don't think that a benevolent higher power has the egotistical need for worship. That would be on par with me flushing my fish down the toilet because it had the audacity not to call me by a certain name when I fed it.

Any higher power worth its salt would be too evolved to require worship from lowly beings like ourselves. The Bible was written by human beings. It is partially a historical account of life at the time when it was written. It is fallacy to try and take it completely literally. Just my humble opinion.

Peace.

Demon Hunter: Undying


Why is that freak of nature Ke$ha's horrific visage posted alongside this cool (Christian) metal video? How dare they! She looks like a feckin' zombie!

I know a lot of people think that Christian and metal don't go together, but if that's what floats their boat, I'm cool with it. They do have a very good sound.

What I don't like about Ke$ha and her ilk is the fact that she is just a spectacle. No actual talent, just flash and shock value. Ho hum. 

Intro + Darksun

Storming the Heaven

Cold's Calling

Undying Evil

I'm in kind of an evil ass mood this morning. This song should fill the bill. Watch the hell out!

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Iron Maiden Playlist

Don't like Maiden? Then you won't like this playlist. So, GTFO until we're done with the coolness!

Up the Irons!

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner


Up the goddamn irons!

The Sword Playlist

Check out a cool mystic metal playlist from The Sword.

Fire Lances of the Ancient Hyperzephyrians


Amazing song and amazing video from The Sword.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Eddie Harris Playlist

And just why would I want to share an Eddie Harris Playlist?

If you need to ask, you obviously need a Soul Injection. Click the link and Get You Some!

 

Is It In?


A little double entendre and innuendo on the funky tip with jazz great Eddie Harris.

Don't Want Nobody

Pertussis


Vaccination creates herd immunity. Get vaccinated for this terrible disease and spare not only yourself, but the most vulnerable.

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Indonesia: Pedophile's Paradise

Newborns Hooked on Crack

Newborns Hooked on Prescription Painkillers

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Panic At the Disco Playlist

But It's Better If You Do

Pot vs. Meth

Don't Get Scammed


Be obnoxious like this guy, if these fuckers call you.

What What In the Butt


Send this to every homophobic asshat that you know!

Sunday, November 4, 2012

If only Fat People get Fat People Diseases, Why Did my Skinny MIL Die From a Stroke?

This image was found at this wonderful blog

I didn't really feel like it was appropriate to put this in the previous post, but my mother in law died a few months after suffering a stroke. You know how strokes are supposed to be things that happen to fat people? She was a tiny, skinny woman. She stood barely five feet tall and only weighed about 92 pounds. So by the logic of the anti-fat brigade, should she have not lived forever?

I'm five foot six and weigh closer to 292 pounds. I'm a nurse, so I know the importance of keeping an eye on certain basic readings. I'm doing fine. My doctor says I'm doing fine. He's a wise man. He says the only time weight is a concern to him is if there are sudden marked increases, which generally indicate fluid gain. Fluid gain comes on with issues such as kidney dysfunction. It's sad, but my doc is in the minority.

My cousin has lost about 30 pounds working out in the therapy pool at the facility where she works. Having worked in health care for many years, both of our bodies are pretty beat up. I'm going to ask the rehab center affiliated with our hospital if there's any chance I could work out in their pool after hours. If not, I think I'll take my cousin up on her suggestion that I could use the pool at the facility where she works. They allow the public to use it for a fee.

Here's something to note. My cousin was not TRYING to lose weight. I will not be TRYING to lose weight. The thing that sold me was not the weight loss, it's the increased flexibility and range of motion that she's been going on about. Flexibility is so important and so underrated. It's always the last quality addressed in exercise, but is as important as strength or stamina.

Certainly it's more important than "being skinny." As a nurse, I end up seeing people who become "skinny" for life and health threatening reasons all the time. Sudden weight fluctuations in either direction are always red flags. Weight measurement should be used for catching problems like endocrine dysfunction of other health concerns. It should not be used as a means of berating people.

Seeing as blaming and shaming always work so well, you'd think that other health care professionals would get a clue, right? So many times I find myself facepalming at the idiot remarks made by my own kind. They make them while I'm sitting right there, not intending to hurt me, but simply out of ignorance and brainwashing.

Maybe you can never be too rich, but you can sure be obsessed with being too thin! The poison of our thin-centric society is more than obvious. Eating disorders in young people, particularly young women, are more rampant than ever. Now that is a serious problem, but people are putting on their blinders. As long as these girls are skinny, they're healthy. Right?

It's time that we start berating the douchebags who think that insulting fat people is okay. Those who use mean humor are not funny. Let's quit stroking their limp egos.

My body happens to look a lot like the body of the larger woman. My husband, who stands about six foot two (took after his father in the height department) and weighs around 175 pounds, has no qualms about touching my body. He is not a "chubby chaser." The woman he was with before me was a model. She had a body that women in this society (myself included) envy.

We ended up together after he broke up with her. We worked together and had been friends for nearly three years. He asked me if I'd be his date to a fund raiser that he was involved with and I said "sure." That evening, we both realized how much we really enjoyed being together and decided to try another date, this time to the Museum of Natural History, which is something we both love. 

We were walking through the minerals exhibition and he took my hand. I hoped that he wouldn't let go. We bought tickets for a show at the planetarium, and partway through, he asked if he could kiss me. He didn't stick his tongue down my throat or try to grope me. But his lips stayed on mine for what was a good long time, and yet not nearly long enough.

When he dropped me off at home, he didn't try to get in my pants, but we held onto each other for quite a while. He asked me why we hadn't done this before.

"Because you were with someone and we work together," I said.

"Ja, there's that," was his answer. "But I don't think this shall be a problem. You want to do this again, I'd like that. You don't want to do it again like this, we are friends still."

I wanted to do it again.

Of course I worried that he was "settling" for the fat broad because he couldn't make things work with the gorgeous model, who happened to be trying to change him into something that was more cosmopolitan, more visually appealing in her eyes. I wondered how he could "downgrade" from her to me.

When I eventually confessed my fears to him, he was genuinely surprised. He said he never saw me as a downgrade. He said that we enjoyed each other's company and he never felt like I was trying to change him into something he wasn't. That was what was important to him. Not the number that came up when I stepped on a scale.

Nils and I had our ten year wedding anniversary this year. Because of his mother's health issues, we really didn't have much of a celebration. We decided to postpone our anniversary celebration proper to the anniversary of when we first started dating, back on December 15, 1999. Maybe we'll spend Christmas in the mountains, making out to Riding the Storm Out. 

Some might think the thought of a skinny, knobby-kneed, tow-headed fortyish Norwegian guy with a slightly receding hairline making out with a fat, fiftyish American brunette who looks far more like Rosie O'Donnell than Mila Kunis or whoever is the Hollywood flavor of the month these days, is "disgusting." Neither of us look like supermodel manikins. But I happen to think that two people in love is beautiful, no matter what they look like.

I get more turned on seeing my husband naked than I do seeing any Hollywood actor or G.Q. model, and his actions would indicate that he's far from disgusted with my body. He once said "If you could see yourself through my eyes, you would want to fuck yourself."

Perhaps I should do that--and let him watch, of course.

Yeah, it's disgusting, I know. At least to all the namby-pamby little wimps who want a blow-up doll who won't do annoying things like talk or demand to be treated like a human being. A fat woman having sex, and a partner who enjoys having sex with her. Ewwww....gross!

Know what? I don't care what they think. My amazing husband is on call at the hospital today, so I better get on this, just in case one of our colleagues happens to call in with Beer Fever, as is prone to happening on weekends. 

Wishing you love and peace, no matter what your size.

Aurora

Butthole Surfers Playlist

Let's go Surfin' now with this little playlist.

Pepper


Remember this one? I really need to hear some nasty, angry music today. Not necessarily loud or raucous, but anti-establishment. Ya know?

It's been a real boner year. Dad died on July 8 at 79 years old. And now Nils' mom passed away on October 4. She was 82. I flew to Norway with him and his brother for the funeral. It's always so beautiful there, but this time the occasion was a somber one. I think his dad will be okay. He's a stoic, resourceful man. I'm really not sure how Nils and his brother ended up being so warm. Their parents were anything but demonstrative with affection.

More of this to come. 

Public Enemy & Slayer: She Watch Channel Zero


One of my favorite songs. Two of my favorite bands. Duh--winning!

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Voormithadreth: Curse of Immortality


Bad ass melodic black metal

Cloak of Autumn


First of all, real and authentic. Second, ass kicking female musician. Which is what I want to be in my next life. I wanted to be one in this life, but it didn't work out that way.

Princess Celestia and the Curse of Immortality

Curse of Immortality


My sick little soul needs some dark and gloomy shit to make me happy.

Curse of Immortality

Curse of Immortality: Fanfic Review


For my Brony friends and family.

Curse of Minecraft

Friday, November 2, 2012

The Curse of Immortality