One of those scenes that either makes you go "aww" or makes you want to reach for the barf bag!
~DJ Faycin~
Steven wrote a poem about pain to go with his insightful painting. I wanted to share my response.
I live with chronic low-grade pain (which I almost spelled "pane.") What color would it be? Muted red, perhaps. On a good day, light pink. Like my mental illness, I'm used to it. Unlike my mental illness, there is never a question that I would get rid of the pain if I were able.
The mental illness has affected the way I think, and I have had it all my life. I sometimes think if it were taken away, I might not know how to deal with the world as a "normal" person.
Just like some people who have been blind all their lives have trouble navigating the world if by some miracle their sight is restored. I am blind to what it is to be "normal."
I also wanted to respond to Adam's very kind post in which he mentioned my struggles.
I was initially discouraged by the asshattery of other people. Then I overcame that. Now I'm discouraged by the publishing process. It is NOT FUN! It is expensive and time-consuming. It probably doesn't help that I have obsessive-compulsive disorder. I hate being my own publicist. If you can't afford to have a team helping you promote your work, and you don't enjoy doing this sort of shit by yourself, woe betide you.
So, yeah, I don't know if I'll ever publish another book. I'm going to get the one I'm (still) working on out there, but that might be it. I don't expect to get a huge readership for it, not nearly enough to cover the expenses of getting it published.
And that's currently where I stand.
I'm working on a story dedicated to one of my writing sisters who is going through a really hard time. I love you, Cie!
The following paragraph isn't about Cie, except that someone who does drugs has brought misery into her life, which she really didn't need.
This photo was found here. It shows the effects of doing hard drugs. This is the same person in all of these photos.
I can't fucking stand what drugs do to people. They take someone who might otherwise be a decent to okay person and turn them into a fucking monster. I don't hate people who take drugs, I hate the drugs themselves. I hate what the drugs turn people into. Also if you want to start looking old and tore up real quick, do drugs. I've seen drugs destroy so many lives. I'm actually not talking about weed here, although too much weed can screw up a person's life too. I'm talking about drugs like cocaine, heroin and meth. An excess of alcohol can do it too. I've seen all of these things tear up people's lives.
For Cie, I want to tell her that it isn't her fault, you can't stop another person from doing things that they are determined to do. I also want to say THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING DIFFERENT! People need to stop trying to make other people into carbon copies. My friend thinks a little differently and she reached out to others for help. Mostly what it got her was a shit ton of criticism and misery.
Most people aren't on your side. It's rare to find someone who is.
We'll get through. You've got at least one friend. Old Wicked Wanda is still here. Don't change you. I wish you could see you the way I do. You'd see a pretty cool person.
Hello, and welcome to Club KHEL 666! Tonight, I'm sharing the likes of the Wall of Voodoo, Oingo Boingo, and Devo. That ought to take some of you back! Hopefully it will bleach my brain of the fact that one of my twitter followers has a URL of lickmypussy.com, or something of that nature.
I think that she may be the same one that's following you, Dolly. But I'm afraid she's fickle. You know that "look at your lips and my lips, they want to massage each other" message that she sent you? Well, she sent it to me too! Guess she's really got a thing for middle aged straight women, huh?
But hey, fuhgeddaboutit! It's time to go Virtual Clubbing with Club KHEL 666! Follow us on our blog, or on Facebook. Or right here--it's all up to you!
You can also follow me on Twitter, @cheeseandsnark. But if you're a camgirl, I won't follow you back.
I can smile though I feel like crying
I can fight, though I don't really feel like it
I'll keep living although dying seems easier
But I'll be damned if, at almost fifty years old and nothing but failed relationships with people at least as fucked up as I am if not more so, and psychic vampires, emotional abusers, and predators, and even one that raped me, I will ever again do that "love" crap. Fuck that shit.
I love my son, I love my animals, I love what few friends I have even though they are far away, and I love my annoying family.
Romantic love, as far as I am concerned, is the biggest fucking crock of shit in the Universe. It worked out for you? Great, but that isn't the norm. Don't try to shove it down my throat that I "need" a romantic/sexual partner to be complete. That's straight up crap right there.
Bitter? Why yes, I am. And it is not your business to tell me not to be.
When my dear writing sister H.P. Liebekraft discovered that Ping.fm no longer supported Blogger, we thought we had trouble and weren't sure what to do. You see, the infamous KHEL 666 Radio is a Blogger Blog, and we have a Facebook page too. It seemed like too much of a pain to create a new post on Blogger each time we shared a song. What to do, we wondered. Was this the end for KHEL 666 on Blogger?
Helena saved the day when she discovered Posterous! I am a longtime blogger and will continue creating crazy little tales at my notorious Netherworld blogs. I will make this my central hub and share the links to those creations here. It kind of feels like a new day!
Please also follow my fellow Horror Harridans on Posterous:
I like my new home on Posterous, I just hope that what happens to my dear cousin and writing sister Eleonora Usher-Rigby does not happen to me! Ellie started one blog and then was never able to access it again, and had to start up a whole new account. Apparently you can never expect any help from Posterous--they never responded to El's request for help. You're on your own! But that's no different from Blogger, so it's not like I'm in a worse position with Posterous.
The move to Posterous was the brainchild of my dear cousin and writing sister Helena Philomena Liebekraft, who discovered that Ping.fm no longer supported Blogger. Since our mutual music blog, Radio Station KHEL 666, is a blogger blog, that simply would not do. Helena discovered Posterous, and the Horror Harridans have begun migration here en masse!
My cousins and writing sisters Wanda Bates and Spectra Ghostseeker are also on Posterous.
KHEL 666 also has a Facebook page.
Follow and Join us if you like! As long as you're cool and not a troll, we'd love to have you!
Come on-a my house!
Image found on Fanpop
Check out They mostly come out at Night – Built Upon This Earth http://www.last.fm/music/They+mostly+come+out+at+Night/_/Built+Upon+This+Earth via @lastfm
I'm making movies on location! Actually, I'm helping my cousins/writing sisters Rose LeMort: Revisionist Diva and Cara Hartley: Proofreader and Editor reformat Rose's beautiful disaster of a manuscript!
Rose's manuscript really is not a "disaster." But it has taken much longer than she initially hoped to get it to the point where she's satisfied with it, so there have been several derailments on the way. Rose is very particular! But it will pay off. Her book is nothing short of magnificent. It is not for lazy readers. It is a spiderweb of subplots--and I have very much enjoyed being trapped in said web!
Cheers, Rose--I think it really is about ready to roll!
