Cheesy Cinema Review: Hold the Dark

Netflix' Hold the Dark is fascinating conceptually, and the cast does a stellar job of playing their roles. But when the viewer comes away from a film saying "why the hell did any of that happen?" it isn't a good thing.

I haven't read the book that this film was based on. Maybe if I had read the book, I'd understand the film better. However, a well-executed film would not require the viewer to have read the book to understand what is going on.

I feel that the film tries too hard to avoid being Another Werewolf Movie and doesn't do enough to ensure that the viewer understands the reason why All The Spooky Weirdness is transpiring in the first place.

I wanted to like this movie. I wanted it to live up to the hype and the stellar cast. It did not do so.

I wish that Netflix hadn't changed their viewer rating system from stars to a thumbs up/thumbs down. I would have given this movie three stars with Netflix' previous system. As it stands, I didn't rate it. The performances were too good for it to merit a thumbs down, but I came away too befuddled for it to merit a thumbs up.

One should not have to rely on search engines to find an explanation for why events transpired in a movie. Arguably, I did have to do this for some events in Prometheus and Alien: Covenant, which I found frustrating, but I understood the majority of the plot in these movies and would give both of them a solid thumbs up despite the various points of confusion. Since my reaction to Hold the Dark was "well, that happened, but why?" I cannot say the same for it.
Hold the Dark left me hungry for more, and not in a good way. It was the kind of hunger one has after eating a not vomit-inducing but unsatisfying deli sandwich from a service station because there isn't anything better available.

Cheesy Rating: 2.5 out of 5 wedges

 

~The Cheese Hath Grated It Cinematically~

Netherworld Cinema: Fertile Ground 2011 [Full-Movie]

Rated R for nudity, violence and profanity. The nudity isn't particularly obtrusive and the pseudo-sex is pretty toned down, although predictable.

The cast puts in good performances. The plot is predictable. The special effects are cheesy overall, although the miscarriage scene is striking and disturbing.

Overall rating 2.5 out of 5 stars. I've certainly seen worse, but I've definitely seen better.

~DJ Faycin~

Dr. Boyce Watkins: Problems with the Straight Outta Compton Movie

Netherworld Cinema: Cut/Print

Cut/Print is an independently produced 2012 horror film. The full movie can be viewed here.

How far will one go for fame and what happens when things go too far?

I am not a fan of slasher films or shaky-cam style. However, the shaky cam works to provide a grungy feel which is actually in the film's favor. 

While there is gore, it is not the central focus of the movie. The horror is on a more psychological level than most slasher flicks provide. 

If you enjoy gritty, low-budget films and are into the slasher genre, you might really appreciate this film. While it doesn't make my top ten list, I actually found it more interesting than I thought I would. I respect the effort the filmmakers put into their project with an obviously very minimal budget. 

I appreciated Cut/Print more than I do most slasher films.

~DJ Tempest~

Ghostly Reporter Talks About Anna Paquin

Here we have a ghostly reporter with a floating head, torso, arms, and feet. He is talking about Anna Paquin's cut scenes from the latest X Men movie.

~DJ Ursula~

Netherworld Cinema: The Silence of the Lambs

I'm a fan of horror, but I prefer monsters and atmosphere to "slasher" type horror, so I never watched this movie. It was my son, who was born just a year before Silence of the Lambs came out, who recommended it to me. He's not big on slasher flicks either, but he said that the characters are so well crafted and portrayed that it's worth watching. He also said that it isn't a gratuitous "slasher flick" in spite of the subject matter, it's more of a psychological thriller.

I would have to agree on both counts.

Anthony Hopkins is utterly terrifying in this role. He's one of those actors who is more frightening when he plays "evil" because he looks so completely normal and nondescript, like someone you'd see in the grocery store. Or the liquor store, buying a nice Chianti.

~DJ Tempest~

Malevolo

Peter's brief review of the film "Malevolo," starring Lou Diamond Phillips.

Illsa's Illin' Movie Reviews: Imprint

Imprint is that rare thriller which manages to have a powerful impact without being overly gory. There is no gratuitous violence, no nudity, and even the harsh language is minimal. The protagonist is a strong yet flawed young Lakota lawyer who becomes a pariah when she prosecutes and gets a conviction against a boy from her own tribe. When she returns home to visit her sick father for his birthday, she begins experiencing frightening visions. 

It is wonderful to find a story where the strength lies in the tale itself: not in the special effects, not in the shock value, and, thankfully, not in exploiting the female characters. The filmmakers had integrity and a vision, and it shows.

Cyberbully

I watched the 2011 film "Cyberbully" this morning. The movie had a happy ending, which often real life bullying situations do not. 

I had a hard time getting through this one. I don't know if I would have survived if there had been this additional avenue of bullying when I was a teen. As it was, I was bullied. One guy from another school, whom I had gone on a date with once, spread a rumor that he got me pregnant and I had an abortion. I was only 15. I was still a virgin. I remember him trying to grope me and me saying no. He didn't even get in my pants, let alone get me pregnant. But the rumors that I was a "slut" persisted.

I was a big girl (who turned into a big woman.) At five foot seven, I weighed 180 pounds in a world where any female who weighs over 120 is considered "fat." I had broad shoulders, moderately large breasts, a big butt, and chunky thighs. I didn't have the kind of big breasts that push straight out in front, I had the kind that spread to the side. If I wore a pushup bra, I'd have had cleavage up to my chin. I was modest, however, and tended to wear baggy shirts to hide my breasts. It didn't help much.

I had friends among the stoner crowd. The popular kids picked on me for my less than fashionable attire. My family wasn't rich. I couldn't believe how shallow these morons were, but it hurt anyway.

When I tried to kill myself, I did not get support from my mother. As I lay there in the E.R. with my wrists bandaged, she railed at me about how stupid I was for doing something like that and told me to stop looking for attention. The counselor at school gave me no help when I told her what was going on with me. She basically told me I needed to toughen up. 

I guess I was a lot smarter than I thought I was at the time, because I got through high school with mostly B's even though I was constantly ditching school.

While watching Cyberbully, there were times that I started breathing hard and my chest started to feel tight. I thought I was going to have a panic attack and felt like I might have to stop watching. I'm 45 years old, and all those feelings from those awful years came flooding back to me. In a way it felt like being raped (another thing that I have experienced) only on a psychological level. I remember feeling like trash, like I was worthless, like I deserved what happened to me.

To this day, I still have a lot of trouble believing in myself or my abilities. I still see myself as unattractive. I don't know if any of this will ever change.

I know that the filmmakers were trying to impart the message that violence does not solve anything, but the part of the movie where Lindsay the Bitch Queen and her Chief Bitch Crew are in the bathroom and Taylor (the bullying victim) comes in and they berate her for crying? I would have started swinging my shoulder bag at those cunts. None would have gotten away unscathed. I would have been suspended for school and I would suddenly have been the villain. But that is the way it would have gone down.

Bullying kills. Bullying also hurts many years after the fact. Bullying destroys lives. Isn't it time to put an end to this social evil? 

Movie Review: Insidious

2011PG-13102 minutes

Believing their home is haunted, a suburban schoolteacher and his wife uproot their family and move to a new place hoping to leave the evil spirits behind -- only to discover that the house wasn't haunted ... but their eldest son is.

 

Most terrifying film since the Exorcist? Hardly. Things jumping out at me from the dark are going to make me jump, but it takes a lot more than cheesy CGI spooks to scare this old horror hack.

Excellent atmospheric creepiness and good acting make this one reasonably enjoyable to watch, although the movie is filled with tropes. The disjointed script and far too many instances of characters Acting Appropriately Stupid become annoying at times. It was a fun diversion, but I was glad I didn't pay to watch it in a theatre.

Per the Netflix rating system, I gave this one three stars. I liked it more than I disliked it, but there was nothing about it that made me really like it.

The Thirst: One Bad Vampire Movie

The only positive thing about The Thirst was the all too brief presence of the amazing Otep Shamaya. This movie stunk in spades. The hillbilly vampires must have ridden into town on the short bus. The all too frequent (badly executed) spurting blood and mouthfuls of flesh were more gag-inducing than scary. If you're looking for a good, scary time, give this foul flick a miss.