Cheesy Cinema Review: Hold the Dark

Netflix' Hold the Dark is fascinating conceptually, and the cast does a stellar job of playing their roles. But when the viewer comes away from a film saying "why the hell did any of that happen?" it isn't a good thing.

I haven't read the book that this film was based on. Maybe if I had read the book, I'd understand the film better. However, a well-executed film would not require the viewer to have read the book to understand what is going on.

I feel that the film tries too hard to avoid being Another Werewolf Movie and doesn't do enough to ensure that the viewer understands the reason why All The Spooky Weirdness is transpiring in the first place.

I wanted to like this movie. I wanted it to live up to the hype and the stellar cast. It did not do so.

I wish that Netflix hadn't changed their viewer rating system from stars to a thumbs up/thumbs down. I would have given this movie three stars with Netflix' previous system. As it stands, I didn't rate it. The performances were too good for it to merit a thumbs down, but I came away too befuddled for it to merit a thumbs up.

One should not have to rely on search engines to find an explanation for why events transpired in a movie. Arguably, I did have to do this for some events in Prometheus and Alien: Covenant, which I found frustrating, but I understood the majority of the plot in these movies and would give both of them a solid thumbs up despite the various points of confusion. Since my reaction to Hold the Dark was "well, that happened, but why?" I cannot say the same for it.
Hold the Dark left me hungry for more, and not in a good way. It was the kind of hunger one has after eating a not vomit-inducing but unsatisfying deli sandwich from a service station because there isn't anything better available.

Cheesy Rating: 2.5 out of 5 wedges

 

~The Cheese Hath Grated It Cinematically~

Movie Review: Insidious

2011PG-13102 minutes

Believing their home is haunted, a suburban schoolteacher and his wife uproot their family and move to a new place hoping to leave the evil spirits behind -- only to discover that the house wasn't haunted ... but their eldest son is.

 

Most terrifying film since the Exorcist? Hardly. Things jumping out at me from the dark are going to make me jump, but it takes a lot more than cheesy CGI spooks to scare this old horror hack.

Excellent atmospheric creepiness and good acting make this one reasonably enjoyable to watch, although the movie is filled with tropes. The disjointed script and far too many instances of characters Acting Appropriately Stupid become annoying at times. It was a fun diversion, but I was glad I didn't pay to watch it in a theatre.

Per the Netflix rating system, I gave this one three stars. I liked it more than I disliked it, but there was nothing about it that made me really like it.