Humor Fail: The Hidden Meanings of Toasters

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard

This bit started out humorous and quickly turned shallow.

Trite commentary about hoping the new bride consumes too many carbs and gets fat, because there's nothing worse in this world than being a human being who has a bit more adipose tissue, amirite?

Also, the idea of maintaining a friendship with one's ex really shouldn't be all that surprising. Many people, in fact, do. 

I managed to become friends with my ex in spite of a very troubled past. We have three kids together. Better for the kids that we weren't at each other's throats. Yes, he caused me a lot of pain and heartache, but he's tried to be a good father to his children. He's managed to stay clean of his drug addiction for twelve years now. What good would it do me to be a catty bitch to him? 

Not saying that Vanessa Paradis was or wasn't being a catty bitch to Johnny Depp. Her reasons for choosing the gift she did for the happy couple are her own.

DJ Hell's Belle

(H.P. Liebekraft)

From the Stuff Nobody Gives A Crap about Files: Hollywood TV

The Hollywood TV channel is devoted to capturing famous and semi-famous people doing Stuff Nobody Gives a Crap About.

When I was younger, I supposed that Hollywood gossip was harmless enough. In my middle years, I've actually come to see it as quite harmful. It's mean-spirited, invasive, and tends to encourage nasty behavior towards other people in everyday life. 

The above is simply a waste of time. Why should anyone care if this woman can't find her valet ticket, besides her?

~DJ Hell's Belle~

Wiz Khalifa is a D-O-G

I'm not one for making fun of people's looks, and I'm not, in fact making fun of Wiz Khalifa's looks. I'm just wondering what the hell she ever saw in his skanky azz. Skanky is an attitude, and he radiates it like nobody's business.

The KHEL 666 Krew has some advice for Amber, via Rick Estrin and the Nightcats.

Darlin', you can do better.

~DJ Rose~

Waka Flocka Flame's Name

We're not much for gossip, but this was kind of amusing.

Your Cheatin' Heart

So, here's my rant, as promised.

Kristin Stewart was caught cheating on Rob Pattinson with Rupert Sanders, who is the director of Snow White and the Huntsman. He's married.

Kristin says: "I'm deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I've caused...it jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I'm so sorry."

Sanders says he is "utterly distraught about the pain" he caused his "beautiful wife and heavenly children," and said he is "praying" that they can get through it together."

Tempest says: If they did it before, they'll do it again. Maybe not with each other, but with someone else. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Their respective partners would do well to tell them to take a hike.

Some have said that since Sanders and Stewart were only caught kissing that isn't really cheating. Bullshit. If I'm in an exclusive relationship with a man and he's sticking his tongue down another woman's throat, that's cheating. And eventually it will progress to other things.

What Kristin is saying is that she's sorry she got caught. What Sanders is praying is that his wife divorce him and stick it to him financially.

If these two end up together, they deserve each other. Once a cheater, always a cheater. It would just be a race to see which of them was the first to cheat again.

Know it Alls

Check out Kelly Clarkson – Mr. Know It All http://www.last.fm/music/Kelly+Clarkson/_/Mr.+Know+It+All via @lastfm one of the more powerful voices of modern pop.

At this point, things have quieted down, but a couple of years back, there were some rumors going around about me, started by ignorant people, like always.

I'm pretty open in some ways, but in others I'm very secretive. Never assume anything, about me or anyone else.