Los Campesinos!: I Just Sighed Just So You Know

It's DJ Sadie, bringing you a gritty, lo-fi slice of life from Welsh indie band Los Campesinos!

First and foremost, let it be said
I am writing this at 7:10 a.m.
On the hot dry tarmac of a vacant forecourt
Astronomically speaking, it's the first day of autumn

The sun is hanging 'round like summer's hungover
They knocked the garage down and made flats for our sin
The traffic's so persistent it barely registers
And it smells like a mix of petrol and dog shit

Just let me be the one you let
Keep track of the moles on your back
I just sighed, the universe replied
Let this pass you by

Sometimes it's just enough to know
I keep him on his toes
Is he as sympathetic as me
To the untimely demise of your synthetic clothes?

I've displayed marriage proposals on the Jumbo Trons
Of ballgames you've not been at
I've written eulogies in guest books at galleries
In the hope that you might pass

Just let me be the one you let
Keep track of the moles on your back
I just sighed, the universe replied
Let this pass you by

She nervous and barefoot chats to me at the front door
New boyfriend inside the same becoming a martyr
Me rolling, writhing on the floor
Stared daggers pulled from my thoracic wall

Well, I hold seashells to my ears
Pretty sure I can hear you

You gave a gift of her favorite book of love poems
Annotate the ones you thought applied the most
I'm gonna win you 'round with prose
If anyone should know I should know

Girl, that must be the reason you let slip
To the point of sending the message
Six months of visceral Catherine wheels
Kissing carnivores to make you seem less of a deal

Just let me be the one you let
Keep track of the moles on your back
I just sighed, the universe replied
Let this pass you by

I promise after this I will pick up the phone book
And choose the name that my eyes fall upon on the first look
A moral of my poorly composed declarations there in the future

I'm so sorry to have put you through
A lifetime of dedications you never desired

And this one sentence bludgeons me over the head
Okay, I'm a little bit drunk and I mean just a little bit
A lush in denial, only rather coquettish

I'm fifteen years old and my parents' only son
Like I barely survived a girl's school education
Prettier now that you've grown your hair long
I'm a slip of a man since I cut mine all off

Please just let me be the one to keep track
Of the freckles and the moles on your back

The Pierces: It Will Not Be Forgotten

God Damn the Pusher

This is a movie review of the 2011 film Puncture, with a big side helping of Rant.

Puncture is actually a far better movie than I expected. It was difficult to watch in the beginning. Drug abuse upsets me. I'm not a purist and I don't fancy myself to be a better human being than hardcore users. I used to drink heavily, although I was able to quit on my own when the time came. I've used marijuana recreationally, though not in more than 25 years. I used to use prescription drugs recreationally and combine them with alcohol. As I said, I'm not some sort of unsullied angel.

I've never touched cocaine and certainly never done heroin. I've known people who have, and I've known people whose lives have been damaged by having hardcore users in their lives. Twelve years ago, a friend of mine ended up dead from AIDS. She had been infected by her partner and her daughter's father, an IV drug user. (Thankfully, her daughter is fine. She has been raised by her grandmother.)

Addicts can be very charming and charismatic.

I made the mistake of letting an addict back into my life recently. He may have kicked the substances for now, but he's still a womanizer. Fifty-five years old and still can't manage to act like a real man. Just a damn hound dog in heat is all he'll ever be. I should have seen it coming, but I wanted to believe that he'd really turned things around and we could be together. Dumb, dumb, stupid, dumb.

Don't let anybody tell you that fucking everything that moves is a victimless act. The people that sex addicts lie to get hurt. I don't want to hear about how humans aren't wired for monogamy. Fucking be honest about your intentions from the beginning. There is no excuse for lying to and fucking over another person.

I almost didn't watch this movie because of the involvement of Michael Biehn. I'm not particularly fond of his treatment of women. As a sexual assault survivor, I really did not care for his directorial debut, The Victim, which starred his hand puppet/wife, Jennifer Blanc. I could not finish watching that shit. He seems to have quite the cavalier attitude towards sexual assault, seeing it as a vehicle for tittilation. Not down with that shit, not in any way, shape, or form. No sir, violence and sex do not mix in my book. 

I'm also not down with guys who fuck over a good woman to try and recapture their lost youth with some starlet twenty years their junior. Bitch, your youth is fucking gone. You ain't getting it back. Being a man about it and aging gracefully is a lot more respectable than acting like the stereotype desperate middle aged asshat. Great behavior to be modeling for your sons on how to treat women, Buttmunch. Just sayin'.

Fortunately, I didn't have to see much of Biehn's cadaverous, scary-looking self. He really only appeared in the last half hour of the movie. Admissibly, he's an effective actor--always has been. His own drug use probably stopped him from being better recognized in the entertainment world. I've heard rumors that he has been kicked off movie sets for drug use and manhandling his female co-stars. In spite of this, I actually ended up feeling sorry for him after seeing Puncture. He doesn't look well. Years of pumping your body full of the wrong stuff will do that, I guess.

Tragically, Michael Weiss, the lawyer who was so keen on getting safety needles into hospitals and other health care settings, died from a drug overdose. He was so young and had so much ahead. Drugs suck, they suck, they suck, and they destroy lives. What a fucking waste.

In spite of my hatred for hard drugs, I do not believe that jailing drug users is effective or correct. We should decriminalize drugs and work on finding a cure for addiction, which is a disease.

And that's my take.

Puncture is worth the view. I actually ended up giving it five stars on Netflix.

Petra

The Pusher

You know I've smoked a lot of grass

O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills

But I never touched nothin'

That my spirit could kill

You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round

With tombstones in their eyes

But the pusher don't care

Ah, if you live or if you die

 

God damn, The Pusher

God damn, I say The Pusher

I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

 

You know the dealer, the dealer is a man

With the love grass in his hand

Oh but the pusher is a monster

Good God, he's not a natural man

The dealer for a nickel

Lord, will sell you lots of sweet dreams

Ah, but the pusher ruin your body

Lord, he'll leave your, he'll leave your mind to scream

 

God damn, The Pusher

God damn, God damn the Pusher

I said God damn, God, God damn The Pusher man

 

Well, now if I were the president of this land

You know, I'd declare total war on The Pusher man

I'd cut him if he stands, and I'd shoot him if he'd run

Yes I'd kill him with my Bible and my razor and my gun

 

God damn The Pusher

Gad damn The Pusher

I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man.

 

Sad But True

Finally A Love Quote that's Real

Beautiful Child

Tempest, forever unrequited.

Can't Get You Out Of My Heart

Wish I could, but I can't.

What can I do?

Cheating: A Choice

Or, to be fair, onto a dick.

They're an Ex for a Reason

Nope

 

Ain't worked yet. I'm just not putting myself out there to make any more mistakes. I'd rather be alone and relatively content than miserable with the wrong guy.

The Sad Cycle

What We Deserve but Don't Get

And my lesbian friends deserve a woman who treats them like this, and my gay dude friends deserve a guy that treats them like this!

It's too bad we can't all find love. I suppose I didn't because I'm not pretty in the conventional way. I'm too heavy for societal standards, and now I'm old. 

I wish there really were someone for everyone. But I'll take my writing over a bad relationship any day.

 

Love Stinks

When it comes to romantic love, I want nothing to do with that noise. Why open the door to getting my heart squashed--bunch of damn nonsense.

People love to say "love as if you've never been hurt." To me, this translates to "be as deliberately naïve as possible." Three words. Ain't. Gonna. Happen.

People say "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." Pretty hard to smile at getting your heart ripped out, even though it's a damn good thing that the bastard's gone, because he was abusing me.

I don't make the right choices. Don't give me that "try, try again shit." I don't wanna try again, because I don't wanna cry again."

Fuck love.

And to hell with lust too. I don't need any of that nonsense.

For some of us, it just isn't meant to be.

Walking Wounded

Check out Everything But The Girl – Walking Wounded http://www.last.fm/music/Everything+But+The+Girl/_/Walking+Wounded via @lastfm They even wrote a song about me!

Image found here