Hi Dumplings, It's Me on Posterous

The girls (my writing sisters) have been at me to start one of these Posterous blogs. Today seemed like a good time to do so.'

Thank you to my lovely Writing Sister Tempest LeTrope for her condolences regarding my dad's death. He passed away last night at 9:51 P.M. He had been struggling after having a massive heart attack on Valentine's Day. Just two days before my middle sister's birthday, which is really harsh. He was 79 years old.

I'm mucking about on the Internet for a while, kind of in shock, trying to pretend things are normal, misspelling every other word. I didn't sleep well last night. So here I am, creating this new blog in the most fucking faggoty colors I could possibly choose, because nothing bolsters my spirits more than pissing off homophobes. Even if no homophobes ever end up reading this blog, the idea that they might see it in all it's pink glory gives me a nasty little zing of glee.

I'll probably talk about my dad here. Our relationship wasn't perfect, but actually, he wasn't a homophobe. He was just super pragmatic and practical, and being gay in this world isn't very practical. He didn't quite get how anybody could be gay because he wasn't. But he didn't give me any shit about it. When I came out, he said "you sure?" and looked at me like I was nuts. But he already thought I was nuts because I'm such a wet blanket. He let it go after that.

Dad actually liked my fiancé. I think he really liked Dylan being a physician's assistant because he could ask all kinds of medical questions for free. Like I said, he was pragmatic. He also liked the fact that I finally chose a guy who wasn't a complete shithead for a change. He found my previous choices a little questionable. He wasn't the only one.

I know I need to try to get some sleep or I'm going to fall apart. I need to hold it together for Mom, and my sisters. I don't feel really sad right now, just numb. As a counselor I know how this goes. It will come in waves. Right now my mind is in denial.

Death isn't the end, it's just a transition. I'll see you again, Dad. Rest in peace.

Proud to have been your son, even if we didn't always see eye to eye.

Here come the tears.

Adam