The Cheese Grates It: Please Stop

This is a kinder, gentler version of my previous post.

Classic Rock Fandom: OH MY GOD HE'S SO FUCKING HOT

Other people: he's 70 years old no

Classic Rock Fandom: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HE'S A FUCKING GOD

Other people: dude stop

Classic Rock Fandom: I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GO BACK AND BE A GROUPIE FOR HIM BECAUSE FUCK

Other people: dude no thats not good

Classic Rock Fandom: I DON'T CAAAAAAAAAAARE

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I've seen this item floating around for a while now.

I’m going to gently explain the problems with this post, and I hope that people will actually bother to read what I say rather than simply attacking.

First of all, never purport to speak for an entire group, in this case, the "classic rock fandom." There are a lot of people in said "classic rock fandom" who do not identify with what is being said here.

For instance, I have been a fan of what has come to be termed "classic rock" since quite literally back in the late 1960's, and I would never speak of the musicians who created the wonderful songs that I love in such an objectifying manner.

If YOU, the O.P. have the expressed view, so be it. Attribute said viewpoint to yourself, not an entire group.

You can find someone outside your age range interesting. You can even find them attractive. In the days of my youth, I found Leonard Nimoy very attractive. He was old enough to be my father.  I would never have dreamed of objectifying him. I respected him far too much to ever see him as a piece of meat.

As for being a groupie...I’m not quite sure the O.P. understand just what that means. Being a groupie is not exactly a healthy goal. Being in someone’s life for no other purpose than to service them sexually starts to leave a person feeling pretty damn hollow. You aren’t special, you’re one of many. How is that something to aspire to?

Before we get started accusing me of “slut shaming” (a term which I hate because I don’t believe anyone should be called a slut), I will state that I am not saying that groupies are bad people. I simply think that a girl or woman can do better for herself. Aspire to become a musician yourself. Aspire to become a band manager, a sound engineer, a promoter, a roadie, a radio DJ. You’ll meet musicians aplenty, and you’ll also have a career you can be proud of.

I’m over 50, so if I were to get involved with a member of one of the “classic rock bands,” nobody would bat an eye. Some of them (i.e. Nikki Sixx, Tommy Lee, Vince Neil) are in my general age range. Some of them (i.e. Mick Jagger, Keith Richards) are old enough to be my father.

Although my involvement with these men would not cause any sort of stir, that is beside the point. I have enough respect for them that I would never look at them as mere objects. They are human, and they are vulnerable.

I am well aware of the kind of deterioration that can happen to a person as they age. I acquired my perspective from having worked with the aging population, from watching my own relatives age and die, and from the things that are happening to my own body.

Thus, I do not find this sort of objectification expressed by the O.P. either flattering or harmless. This mindset doesn't view its targets as human. This mindset reduces people to things to be ogled. 

I feel like a piece of me is torn away every time one of the musicians that I’ve “known” all my life becomes ill and dies. 

A few examples.

B.B. King, who was a blues musician, but any rock fan worth their salt knows that the blues is the backbone of rock–the amazing B.B. King died from complications of Alzheimer’s.

Ronnie James Dio, who I thought would pretty much outlive everyone, died of stomach cancer.

My dear David Bowie–and no, I’m not objectifying him, I always thought of him as a friend I very much wanted to meet–died from cancer.

Lemmy Kilmister–wonderful, tough as nails, amazing Lemmy with his powerful voice is gone from this world. I have a tattoo honoring Lemmy on my left calf. No, it isn’t because I wanted to “be a groupie” for him. It’s because his music meant something to me, and because the more I learned about him, the more I liked him as a person.

Malcolm Young isn’t physically dead, but he’s gone from this world. What I’m going to say comes not from a place of hate but from a place of love. I wish he’d died before the god damn fucking dementia had a chance to destroy him. He is not going to recover, there is no reversing that shit. His brother, the person who he was closest to in this world, has said that Malcolm “isn’t in there at all anymore,” and I know exactly what the hell he’s talking about, and it fucking sucks, and there isn’t a god damn thing anyone can do to change it.

The original post doesn't indicate that the poster cares one iota about the music or the people who wrote it. It appears that she’s mooning over pictures of cute boys who are no longer “cute boys”. They haven’t been “cute boys” for a long time. 

“Classic Rock “ musicians are real people.

Real, and often fragile.

More and more of them are getting sick and dying. 

That fucking sucks.

Dear O.P., in the future, please speak for yourself. You do not speak for the entirety of the “classic rock fandom.” 

You speak for a minority faction of teenage girls who have, in reality, not done much living; who may not realize that posts such as this are tremendously disrespectful.

I have been part of the “classic rock fandom” for longer than the O.P. has been alive.

The O.P. does not speak for me.

The Cheese Hath Grated It