I really try to avoid mean spirited humor. But sometimes someone disappoints you (or horrifies you) so much that something's gotta give. Parts of this post are really mean and kinda juvenile. So if you'd prefer to avoid that, ya know where to find the exit!
This one goes out to my chum, Illsa Gorrey. Sorry for the disappointing discoveries you made regarding your hero, Illy. Hopefully this rude little post will give you some further humorous perspective!
P.S. I was bummed by the awful truth too. But your hilarious rant split my sides laughing, Girl!
Back in the daze, things weren't looking too bad for these lads.
You can't deny when something has earned the title of "Classic."
Like a fine wine, some things just got better with time. Cheers, Bill! You Da Man!
On the other hand, there are some things that are, sadly, just awful by nature. Sometimes it takes a sip or two, but the vile attributes will find their way to the surface.
Like a fine bum wine, some things are just plain nasty to begin with and get worse the longer they're allowed to hang around. According to my great friend Illsa Gorrey, the pretty label came off this one fairly quickly when research revealed what his personality was like. That mug shot didn't help either. Not only would I kick that out of my bed if I found it in there, I'd probably call the exterminator!
Illy used to have a huge crush on this guy, but the more she found out about him, the more it was like drinking...
According to the Bumwine page on this heinous concoction:
"Known as "liquid crack," for its reputation for wreaking more mental havoc than the cheapest tequila. Something in this syrupy hooch seems to have a synapse-blasting effect not unlike low-grade cocaine.
Everyone who drinks this feels great at first, and claims, "It's not bad at all, I like it." But, you really do not want to mess around with this one, because they all sing a different tune a few minutes later. And by tune, I mean the psychotic ramblings of a raging naked bum."
Judging by the guy's track record in the field of romance, this is the effect that he has on women.
That's arite, I'll just thank him for giving the Geek Multiverse the likes of Kyle Reese and Dwayne Hicks, and then I'll take my leave swiftly. Having my synapses blasted by syrupy hooch (or sleazy, coke-addled propositions) is not my idea of a good time.
You know what they say. You can put lipstick on a pig, and it's still a pig. In this case, the Deities put a pretty mask on a warthog. Then that mask came off and...holy shit! Not such a pretty picture after all.
Yeah, I wonder why they do it too! The Universe is just an asshole like that sometimes.
